It’s Way Too Late and I’m Thankful / A Journal of Sorts / 2.1.18

There’s this thing about me that I always forget, and that is if I really try. I CAN be thankful. Even on days, I’d constitute as bad. 

Today, for instance, FELT like a shit storm. I went from breakfast to Cadre, to meeting with Josh and Heidi, to brief Admin Office time to lunch prep, to snack prep to CPP meeting to dinner, to stuff I was supposed to do yesterday, to now. 

And even though I am and will be fucking tired forever. 

I am relishing this moment.

This morning I was filled with resentment for alarm clocks and obligations, staying up too late doing nothing, feeling like a failure, etc. 

Right now I feel like staying awake forever. (Thanks caffeine + poorish judgment – I write at 1 am)

Right now I feel alive and conscious and capable of processing difficult and complex ideas.

I am sitting in Josh’s office, he has now gone to bed (because he is old and fragile), and I feel like sitting here with nothing but the sound of the mini fridge and the several cooling fans of various electronics to keep me company.

And in this moment I am definitely thankful. 

The year is new and I am and always will be new. 

I am surrounded by interesting and dynamic people, I can literally be a fly on the wall and basically watch people’s lives go by. 

I am uniquely lucky to be surrounded by people who love the way these people do. 

How do you live any other way?

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